Extreme wind hits Hong Kong

South China Morning Post - 23rd of August, 2006. Morning commuters hurried to work as usual today on Hong Kong's crowded public transport unaware of the dangers which today brought. Last night and this morning's reports from the city's observatory and Met office were all clear, their monitoring systems having not detected the large pressure changes occuring in the stomach of worker Sam Hill until it was too late. Wind began to pick up around 8:40am as the tropical fartstorm moved south from the Kowloon peninsula to Hong Kong island. Some passengers in the same carriage as Mr Hill (22 years old) reported strange gases and violently unpleasant smells moving through the carriage. At 9:04am, his office toilet experienced light rain followed by heavy precipitation, however, by 9:10am the fartstorm did not subside as had been predicted.

The luckily uninhabited area of Sam's chair endured most of the extreme wind although there are fears that the chair may never recover from the devastating rotten cabbage smell. Neighbouring colleagues have also been hit badly, some pleading for the farting to stop and many having to relocate. The sphinctal winds continued to surge throughout the morning and early afternoon, although the peak may not have passed. The only respite came around midday as Hill went out with workmates for lunch, mild "motorbike" effects were observed as he walked in the comfort and safety of the open atmosphere. The epi-anus of the fartstorm has, though, once again located itself on top of Sam's chair. Pumps continue to blast their stink down into the cushion fabric. It yet remains to be seen whether the spicy won ton noodles witnessed this lunchtime will cause winds to pick up again. Hill's strength does seem to be ailing as he suffers the effects of his own pong, although he seems consigned to his fate as the immense wind continues.

Mandarin and Mah-jong

Mahjong is a chinese game with wee bricks instead of cards. its a great game. addictive and honestly better than every card game I can think of. though a Mahjong deck weighs a couple of kilos so when a drinking game is called for you cant really whip out a set and start sticking little bricks to your head.


My mandarin teacher Natalie (the one im pointing at) who is actually nuts but really funny, and Rachel a wee american girl who did the same classes.
Here's me looking like a plonker, again. Rachel looks older but is actually only goin on 15. They came round coz Natalie was sposed to teach us how to play Mah-jong in Mandarin (me and Rach knew how to call hands and all the different pieces in cantonese) but Natalie failed to mention she didnt really have a clue how to play Mah-jong so we ended up teaching her. A mate from work, Kryon (weird name I know) came round too. He's cantonese and mega camp. he's really funny!





Sunset, lookin out from the west of Kowloon. Loads of wee boats and floating-platform cranes sit in the harbour, that deal with the tankers and container ships.







"I had lost hope, even feeling of soul ... But from the jungle I emerged upon a place unimaginable"

Anyone recognise the poet? Anyone? Well thats cause I made it up. I dont read poetry cause its for gayboys.

Honky Tonk Man

Its been a long time since I wrote last but you probably havent noticed. I'm still in Hong Kong, and comin towards the end of my internship. 2 weeks left. Me, Kim and Nicky went to Singapore to see my aunt on her birthday on the 7th July and Kims on the 9th. Great to see my Aunt, Uncle and cousin Wendy. Will need to put up some pictures of that.

They took us to some amazing places to eat, pepper crab and chilli crab was tasty beyond words. Because you get Indian, Malaysian, Indonesian, Chinese...... and more, theres just a delicious range of styles, I described it as an "unbelievable Asian fusion of culinary genres" while chatting to Lloyd Grossman the other day. I also suggested his next book should feature some of my recipes such as my signiature dish of slow-boiled Hand crushed super noodles with sliced pepparami and balsamic vinegar.

Its funny how we get all these fads of certain ingredients like everything thats supposed to be luxury. Like when I was workin in Somerfield and Sainsbury's, ah back in those golden days..... (rubbish supermarket work for people who dont know British supermarkets). Take a bag of salt and vinegar crisps, shove them in a fancy packet with "Taste the difference" witten in fancy writing, call them hand cracked sea salt and balsamic vinegar and hoody hoo! look at me Im pure rich and eating hand cooked potato chips!! la di da! what exactly does hand cooked mean anyway? how hot are these people's hands? I have tried putting raw things on my hands and no matter how patiently i waited I couldnt cook jack shit!

Now, i have hands that are either freezin cold or hot to the point of being a bit clammy...even sweaty. Those of you whove had the pleasure of holding my hand will know this. Thats right ladies... I'm tall, skinny AND sweaty hands, Im quite a catch!
WLTM a fun, 20-something girl, GSOH, must be dull so at partys my stories seem funny in comparison, preferably non-smoker with absorbant hands, perhaps talcum powdered palms.

Been seeing family in HK. Played a lot of Mah Jong. Am workin Dolly Partons (9-5's) monday to friday at Kpmg, well actually 830-530, and have Mandarin lessons tues, thurs night and saturday morning, so have managed to learn a fair amount. So can speak to my grandparents (they dont speak any english). Though conversation usually breaks down when I dont know the word for a few things. strange gesturing and pointing then turns into a weird game of charades where my grandma guesses and i dont know what she's saying. She asks something in mandarin like "what kind of work are you doing?" I misunderstand her and say "Yes" and then nod as she looks at me confused. Then my aunt translates and it all goes swimmingly

Theres some cheap flights to Australia so gonna try and go to Melbourne to see Brendan, Dave Tidy and maybe a few other friends. Though times approaching fast so need to get my finger out. Anyhow here's some more pictures. Edlyn is a friend i made in King Kong, really nice girl, a good laugh though she's just gone back to the states. We went up the Peak a few days ago and here are a some pics. Oh Ed, if you're reading this, facebook is so much easier for puttin photos on than this blog so ill put mine up soon, if you put yours up then we can just nick each others.

Anyhow, Its been a great experience living here, the food is amazing and cheap. Hong Kong girls are hot. though a bit nuts.

King Kong

This is the view from the Peak on Hong Kong island, went up with Edlyn the other night. The view is spectacular. The tallest is the IFC - International Finance Centre building with its "bear claws" lit up at the top, on the left is Central Centre i think (what a shitty name) which constantly changes colour, the white zig-zagged outline on the right is the Bank of China building.


Looking across the harbour to Tsim Sha Tsui, where Kim stays, on the Kowloon (mainland) side, her apartment block is behind the big block to the right of the yellow lights in the middle.







View from the peak out over the back of the island.












Edlyn, a great girl I met in HK. She's from HK though now lives in the states and studies in Boston. She is miniature haha, i know you are reading this Ed, look how big the railing is compared to you






These are the Bank of China buildings, old and new. Looking up from Statue square which is outside the building where I work. Its great to step out into the square, lookin smart in my shirt and tie, feeling all high-flying businessman-like even though I am actually just an intern gimp in the IT department