Extreme wind hits Hong Kong

South China Morning Post - 23rd of August, 2006. Morning commuters hurried to work as usual today on Hong Kong's crowded public transport unaware of the dangers which today brought. Last night and this morning's reports from the city's observatory and Met office were all clear, their monitoring systems having not detected the large pressure changes occuring in the stomach of worker Sam Hill until it was too late. Wind began to pick up around 8:40am as the tropical fartstorm moved south from the Kowloon peninsula to Hong Kong island. Some passengers in the same carriage as Mr Hill (22 years old) reported strange gases and violently unpleasant smells moving through the carriage. At 9:04am, his office toilet experienced light rain followed by heavy precipitation, however, by 9:10am the fartstorm did not subside as had been predicted.

The luckily uninhabited area of Sam's chair endured most of the extreme wind although there are fears that the chair may never recover from the devastating rotten cabbage smell. Neighbouring colleagues have also been hit badly, some pleading for the farting to stop and many having to relocate. The sphinctal winds continued to surge throughout the morning and early afternoon, although the peak may not have passed. The only respite came around midday as Hill went out with workmates for lunch, mild "motorbike" effects were observed as he walked in the comfort and safety of the open atmosphere. The epi-anus of the fartstorm has, though, once again located itself on top of Sam's chair. Pumps continue to blast their stink down into the cushion fabric. It yet remains to be seen whether the spicy won ton noodles witnessed this lunchtime will cause winds to pick up again. Hill's strength does seem to be ailing as he suffers the effects of his own pong, although he seems consigned to his fate as the immense wind continues.